Chadwick Boseman, Black Panther from the MCU, died today from colon cancer. He was 43. He'd been in treatment since 2016, progressing all the time. I had an endoscopic ultrasound and biopsies on my stomach (again) and lymph nodes. These will confirm the gastric cancer diagnosis and tell us whether the lymph nodes are part of the spread or two different cancers at the same time. The news hits too close to home. I am gutted. I loved the movie, the character. He was younger than I am. I read that he was a baptized Christian. I don't know if there is socializing in Heaven, since we'll be focused on God, but I hope so. I want to tell him that he is an inspiration for how I should live with my cancer- keep living, keep giving, keep persevering until I go to live with my Creator. The endoscopy today left me feeling much worse than the previous one. That is only a taste of what is to come, I believe. Chemo will be hard. More testing to find out if chemo is working. This is real. It hurts. It's scary. Many more years of life on Earth are not guaranteed with treatment. If the outlook is really bad, I may consider forgoing treatment. The possibility is there. I want to be prepared to meet God or to continue to serve Him here a while longer. My mind floats back and forth between these constantly. Please, God, Please don't let me squander whatever life I have left. Please don 't let me become so focused on sickness and pain that I forget that I can still be used and can still give and receive love and joy. May your son Chadwick remind me as I travel my own path. Rest in God, Chadwick.