Got the rundown on chemo today- every 2 weeks until January. A;so, the list of side effects and how combat them. Now I'm freaked out. I know I won't get every side effect. They are giving me RXs for the most common ones or details on how to avoid. But I am emetiphobic. Fear of vomiting. Literally- not just that I don't like it, or I'm disgusted by it, but truly in fear of it happening. Not really a good situation. Also, my coping mechanism for that is to not eat. Also not good for the situation. I'm going to have to repeatedly remind myself that surviving nausea is better than quick death. Frankly, vomiting is just barely a step above death in my mind. Stuff is getting very real now. I'm really, truly scared. I know God is with me now and will be with me then, but for now, the tears fall.
On a more pleasant note, I received a big gift basket today. There were practical things like wipes and hand sanitizer, things fro passing time like a word search and sodoku, and pampering items like body spray and a bath bomb. Here's the amazing part- they were gathered by COWORKERS of one of my neighbors. Furthermore, a neighbor whom I don't know by name (I had to look him up on Nextdoor) and have only waved at as I walked past his house! He obviously shared my situation, though. I am utterly humbled. I have people I don't know, barely know, and love dearly praying for me, ALL OVER THE WORLD! I've told friends in difficult circumstances that as I prayed for them, I imagined myself as one of the friends who lowered the mat through the roof to bring that friend to Jesus. Now I see myself on the mat. This is a significant way in which we truly love others and are unified in Christ- we bring others, our friends, known and unknown, to Him.
On a more pleasant note, I received a big gift basket today. There were practical things like wipes and hand sanitizer, things fro passing time like a word search and sodoku, and pampering items like body spray and a bath bomb. Here's the amazing part- they were gathered by COWORKERS of one of my neighbors. Furthermore, a neighbor whom I don't know by name (I had to look him up on Nextdoor) and have only waved at as I walked past his house! He obviously shared my situation, though. I am utterly humbled. I have people I don't know, barely know, and love dearly praying for me, ALL OVER THE WORLD! I've told friends in difficult circumstances that as I prayed for them, I imagined myself as one of the friends who lowered the mat through the roof to bring that friend to Jesus. Now I see myself on the mat. This is a significant way in which we truly love others and are unified in Christ- we bring others, our friends, known and unknown, to Him.
Discerning the Voice of God by Priscilla Shirer
"His agenda far exceeds out tiny, myopic, narrow perspectives, requiring things of us that His Spirit must strengthen us to accomplish. Carrying the cross He gives us requires a grit and tenacity we may not have intended to exercise."
"Don't spend your time trying to get out of the season of life you're in. Just keep following, expecting God to walk you into His purposes or walk you into different circumstances."
"His agenda far exceeds out tiny, myopic, narrow perspectives, requiring things of us that His Spirit must strengthen us to accomplish. Carrying the cross He gives us requires a grit and tenacity we may not have intended to exercise."
"Don't spend your time trying to get out of the season of life you're in. Just keep following, expecting God to walk you into His purposes or walk you into different circumstances."